The energy of the mind is the essence of life. – Aristotle



Backyard Flowers

Photo Credit: Jessica McBride

READER ADVISORY: Some photos and descriptions in this story might be disturbing to some individuals. Use discretion when choosing to continue. Previous blog posts leading up to this story are located at the bottom of this post. It is suggested that the previous posts be read first for a full understanding of this post.

It wasn’t long after my diagnoses that I began to see results. I generally felt better, not as sluggish.

Little hairs began to appear in the follicle desert on the top of my head. I tried not to get my hopes up. There was a good chance that my hair would never grow back since it had been bald for so long.

There was a good chance it would grow in completely grey or white. (Again, I’m going to put my theory out there that Rogue has alopecia.)

There was a good chance it would be patchy or thin. I was prepared to shave my head when that time came.

There was a decent chance that it would grow back. I wanted so much for this to happen and for it to all be over with. Just a story that came up every once-in-a-while that my hair fell out and grew back. Almost like it was just a bad dream.

There was also a good chance that I would lose my hair again, whether it be in the same area or a different place. This was something I would have to accept.

Around January 2015, the excitement built inside, and I dreamed of long, flowing locks of chestnut hair. I imagined styling my hair again. I envisioned a tousled mane waving in the gentle breeze as I jogged down the beach. Ok, minus the jogging part.


Photo by: Jessica McBride

Then reality would set in and I would be reminded that it was quite possible I would wear a headband the rest of my life. The tears would begin to flow, and I would have to spend a few minutes reminding myself that I am stronger than this, that even though society dictated a woman’s hair strengthens her beauty, I would not let society’s expectations bother me.

I wondered how long I would take a pill in the morning, another one at dinner, another twice a week, and rub the greasy serum into my scalp every morning and night.

Only time would tell.

For clarity on the story above, please read the blog posts below.



Author: Jess

Texan by birth, Okie by current address. Journalist who caught the travel bug. I have a healthy dachshund obsession and spend endless hours reading about world history on Wikipedia.

4 thoughts on “Reflection

  1. Pingback: My Hair is Full of Secrets | thejessence

  2. Pingback: Follicles of Hope | thejessence

  3. Pingback: Show Me The Progress | thejessence

  4. Pingback: Fake and Fancy Free | thejessence

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s